Pathway to Prosperity

Is the Shelf Life of Relationships Decreasing?

by Sam James

Thanks to Natalie, who pointed out the release of a new study commissioned by Warner Brothers in advance of the release of their movie Hall Pass in the U.K. (Hall Pass is a Farrelly brothers movie about a couple of wives who tire of their husbands’ constantly checking out other women. They give them each a one-week pass of complete freedom to do whatever they want, no questions asked. Hijinx ensue.)

Wanting to pinpoint the time at which couples get a bit restless and bored with each other, the researchers concluded that the “7-year itch is now the 3-year glitch,” according to 2,000 Brits in exclusive relationships.

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67% said that small irritations that are initially endearing become extremely annoying within three years.

Well, duh. I knew one guy who, just before turning out the light each night, got two Kleenexes, folded them into perfect squares, and laid them on the night table in perfect alignment. His gf thought this was adorable, then quirky, then a bit weird, then anal compulsive, then freaky, and finally a dealbreaker.

Here are the top 10 ”niggles and passion-killers”:

1. Weight gain/lack of exercise, 13 percent

2. Money & Spend thriftiness, 11 percent

3. Anti-social working hours, 10 percent

4. Hygiene issues (personal cleanliness), 9 percent

5. In-Laws/extended family – too much/too little, 9 percent

6. Lack of romance (sex, treats etc.), 8 percent

7. Alcohol – drinking too much, 7 percent

8. Snoring & anti social bedtime habits, 6 percent

9. Lapsed fashion-Same old underwear/clothes, 4 percent

10. Bathroom habits – Stray nail cuttings etc., 4 percent.

That sounds about right. Women gaining weight and wearing granny panties, men leaving their nose hairs in the sink.

Hmmm, I wonder who defines romance as sex, and who defines it as treats?

52% of Brits in relationships of three years or less have sex three or more times per week. After three years, that number drops to 16%.

55% of people in LTRs schedule romantic time.

Sounds like somebody got married and had a kid….

People in love receive an average of 3 compliments per week.

After three years, they’re lucky to get 1.

After five years, 30% say they never get a compliment.  :-|

I’d be interested to know how this breaks down by sex and marital status. Men like to be appreciated, but I think women are more likely to demand actual compliments. Perhaps a change of underwear might help…

76% of all those surveyed said that “individual space is important” in a relationship.

34% in LTRs get two official nights a month to do their own thing without their partners.

58% in LTRs go on vacation without their partners.

I think the first two are perfectly healthy and desirable for both parties, but going on vacation without your long-term partner? I would be fine with the occasional baseball fantasy camp or kayaking with the guys, but in general I’m not a fan of separate vacations.

According to pollster Judy James, relationship stress levels peak at around 36 months, which points to a new trend of “pink passes” and “solo” holidays away from partners and spouses that many Britons resort to in order to keep romance alive.

Yeah, no. I’m not buying that. Ixnay on the assespay. No reason at all this needs to happen in real life. That’s what romantic comedies are for.